Author Topic: Wanted: More Tech Procedures  (Read 3680 times)

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ColoradoB5

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« on: June 10, 2004, 11:45:17 AM »
You may have noticed that I added the Tie Rod End replacement as an announcement.  That's just to keep it near the top for those that are looking for it.  

If you have any tech procedures you would like to write up, we could all use more information along these lines.  The key is to get good pictures of each of the steps and ensure you have each of them documented well.

Also, if you want a writeup, let us know here and the next time someone does a procedure, they can use that to gauge interest.

Thanks,
Winston
You can't rehabilitate a fire ant.

kraut-sled

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« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2004, 12:52:26 PM »
How to flip some one off while driving

We have all experienced it; some jerk cut us off, or is driving like an idiot.  It pisses you off and you want to get them back at them.  Well here are detailed instructions on how:

1. Find the perpetrator

2. Make eye contact.  Sometimes this requires flashing your lights or honking you horn

3. After you have established contact raise one arm.  Be sure to keep the other had firmly on the wheel

4. Once your arm is raised, extend the middle finger on that same hand and stair directly at the object of your discontent

5. For added effect, make a dejected face and shake your arm at your target

This technique is very effective and versatile.  It works from the front, side and even the rear.  I do not recommend this for daily use, but in a case of extreme nature, it is most effective.

If you have any questions about this, please feel free to PM me for details.  I will post pictures as soon as they are available.
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Wanted: More Tech Procedures
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2004, 12:52:26 PM »

ColoradoB5

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« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2004, 01:03:34 PM »
LOL, but Randy this tech procedure should also be accompanied, by the "What to do when road rage comes to your door" and "Home remedies for a black eye" procedures.
You can't rehabilitate a fire ant.

92UrS4

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« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2004, 01:13:19 PM »
Ha, that's good stuff.

I am going to replace my coolant temp sensor this weekend so I'll do a shorty writeup on that...if I remember to take pictures.

I may need to hire a Hand model as well.

ColoradoB5

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« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2004, 01:16:32 PM »
Quote from: "gietl"
I may need to hire a Hand model as well.


You should do all of your pictures with a hand in it with a glove from a gorilla costume.
You can't rehabilitate a fire ant.

kraut-sled

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« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2004, 02:12:37 PM »
Quote from: "ColoradoB5"
LOL, but Randy this tech procedure should also be accompanied, by the "What to do when road rage comes to your door" and "Home remedies for a black eye" procedures.


What to do when road rage comes to your door:

If someone is stupid enough to follow you home, because they do not like you driving style, here is what to do:

1. Park your car and walk in-side.  DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THEM OR TALK TO THEM.  In some cases the person will just go away

2. If they do not go away, and come knocking on your door, invite them in to talk.  This will shock them and will not know what to do.  Hopefully they will go away.

3. If they do come in YOUR house, remind them that Colorado has the “make-my-day” law and that if they want to leave now it would be best.  If they do not leave, they are now trespassing. Tell them that.

4. If they still do not leave, shoot them.

5. Call the police and your Attorney

As for the black eye:

1. Stop crying, you pussy.

2. Go to the freezer and get out a T-Bone or bag of frozen vegetables.  If you do not have one of these two items, come to my house.  But beware as a will punch you in the other eye, because what MAN does not have t-bones and frozen vegetables in the freezer.

3. Apply frozen flesh or vegetables to your eye.

4. I know it is cold, stop crying.

5. Remember to seek revenge against whom ever it was that gave you the black eye.  I recommend returning the favor.  *unless it was your mother, girlfriend or wife.  In that case you need to go buy flowers and say sorry.  NOTE: Mothers-in –law do not fall into this exception.
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jayryan

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« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2004, 02:49:30 PM »
This whole thread:
 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
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kraut-sled

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« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2004, 02:52:46 PM »
Maybe we need a new forum catagory...

RED NECK HOW-TO'S
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jayryan

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« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2004, 03:22:52 PM »
Or, maybe:

Kraut's Komedy Kache
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Chas

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« Reply #9 on: June 18, 2004, 02:58:29 AM »
Oh man! Why didn't I read this thread a a day or so ago. I was totally lost as to how to flip off this jerk who almost ran me off the road!!!

I get it now!!! :) Thanks Red Neck Randy! :)
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Colorado_Baja

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« Reply #10 on: June 18, 2004, 02:35:15 PM »
Quote from: "TLJR20v"
This whole thread:
 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
No time for love, Dr. Jones.

Losers make excuses. Winners make it happen.

"and function, FUNCITON is the key" 
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ColoradoB5

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« Reply #11 on: June 18, 2004, 06:23:06 PM »
Actually in all seriousness, I would like to get enough tech writeups to start an information forum on here for basic VW and Audi knowledge.  ClubB5 has a great one, so since we span more models here, I would like to get something here as well.  

Anyone?
You can't rehabilitate a fire ant.

Scuba2001

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« Reply #12 on: June 18, 2004, 06:40:25 PM »
I will have my B5 headlight leveling system setup here on monday and should be able to install something the weekend after.

I have my double din write up, along with my motor mount write up, and a few others.  If you want those, let me know and Ill see if I can get them copied and such and submit them.

Steve

ColoradoB5

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« Reply #13 on: June 18, 2004, 06:45:53 PM »
Steve, that would be great!  I would love to see how the leveling system works.
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Scuba2001

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« Reply #14 on: June 18, 2004, 06:53:09 PM »
Well, Ive been scouring parts and have gotten most of them.  Ill keep everyone updated and once I have my write up all done, Ill submit it here

SweetVW

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« Reply #15 on: June 18, 2004, 08:08:52 PM »
Ditto on the leveler.
If it ain't broke, take it apart and fix it!

Colorado_Baja

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« Reply #16 on: June 19, 2004, 02:13:13 AM »
Quote from: "ColoradoB5"
Actually in all seriousness, I would like to get enough tech writeups to start an information forum on here for basic VW and Audi knowledge.  ClubB5 has a great one, so since we span more models here, I would like to get something here as well.  

Anyone?


Ill do a write up on the ECS Dog bone mount that ill be installing next week, and if I have time how to remove MKIV headlights b/c I have to get that damn moth out any way.

Full headlight disassembly would be usefull for any of you that would like to joey mod. :D
No time for love, Dr. Jones.

Losers make excuses. Winners make it happen.

"and function, FUNCITON is the key" 
Fugazi